Friday, November 16, 2007

Quiet time...

Today is Friday, November 16th. The last time we posted was October 26th and sorry to those of you who read this blog on a weekly basis to get updates. Obviously things changed for us a little when we hit week 32--2 weeks ago.

At that big 32 week appointment--we got the "ok" to get off strict bed rest and start doing modified bed rest---which means I can DRIVE!!! Not that I can get out and be my normal "go at 100+ miles per hour self" but still to get permission to get out of the house 1 time a day was a huge step for us. I am sure Matt is thrilled with this because I am no longer as grumpy as I had been. So, these past 2 1/2 weeks, I have been consumed with making sure we are ready for MM to get here! Thanks to great information from many friends---we think we are ready. However, sure to any "new parents" life--I have a feeling that we have missed something and will realize it the first night when we get home.

So--according to our plan--MM is scheduled to be here on December 3rd! If he is anything like his father---he will be ON TIME or 15 minutes early! We are set for a csection that morning but not sure of the exact time yet. Our families are busy getting ready for this grand occasion.

In the meantime, Matt and I have realized that we need to take a Baby Care Class so that we will actually have an idea of what to do when he gets here. (I have come to learn that MM does not pop out with an instruction manual.) I have also asked Matt to come with me to a Breastfeeding Class too---to insure that I don't miss any crucial information. My "baby brain" tends to kick in quite alot these days! As said before, Matt is an incredible and supportive husband and I know that he will be a wonderful father too!

We have 2 weeks and 3 days to go until we get to meet MM! There have been many nights that Matt and I have stopped what we are doing, mute the TV and just sit there and listen to the quietness within the house. After sitting there and not saying a word--we look at each other and just smile because we know that this quiet time is only going to last 2 weeks and 3 days longer. However, Matt and I look forward to the chaos, lack of sleep and all of the love that MM will add to our lives. We know that MM is bringing us love as well as his brother's spirit into our lives very soon! We look forward to introducing him to all of you.

Thank you for helping to make our Miracle come true by praying for all of us! We could not have gotten to this place in our lives without your love and support!

Peace and love to you all!
Dana, Matt and MM

Friday, October 26, 2007

Only 5 1/2 weeks and counting...

Yep---only 5 1/2 more weeks to go before we get to meet Miracle Miller up close and personal! It is so surreal to actually know that by the first week of December we will have a baby in this house! Matt and I met with both Dr. U and Dr. B this week and have started planning everything. Cerclage comes out November 29th and MM will be here shortly thereafter. Of course, this is a perfect scenerio and pending no complications between now and then. I realize that we have come such a long way in 13 weeks and know that MM can hold out for the last 5 1/2! I am certain that he has stubbornness gene of both the Delo's and Meserole's! This little boy is going to be a "handful" but I can't wait!


I think the room is finished minus a shelf and a few pictures that need to get hung--but other than that--it ready for MM's arrival. This room is so very special to me because it has been a group effort by family and friends since I was not allowed to go out shopping! However, I have learned to shop on the internet which I think is a little more dangerous than doing it in person. It is easy to hit "enter" on an order and not realize that the money is magically disappearing from your wallet without even opening your purse. I think I am ready to do an AmEx commercial about the convenience of the internet and their card! Ha-ha!


For those of you who have not seen it--Miller's (and Lawton's) room is in a safari theme! I wanted MM to be around bright colors and fun animals! Matt refinished a piece of furniture and it turned out amazing! He also hung these antique tin shelves that Pam found for us when she was out shopping. On one of the shelves--we have reserved it solely for memories, sonogram pictures of Lawton. It is a special area that I wanted in the baby's room because without Lawton's strength of love for his big brother, Miller, we would have never gotten this far! He is our special angel and definitely needed to be included! As for the rest of the room, Matt did an incredible job and I honestly think he surprised himself on his "handy man" abilities!


The crib looks like an antique sleigh bed that reminds me of my Grandma Lucy's bed (straight from Italy) that I used to take naps in--and I always felts so secure because of the high headboard and high footboard. Susie (my sister-in-law and aka--Martha Stewart) is putting the final touches on a tablecloth for an end table and the valances. She is an amazing mom and seamstress and I plan take plenty of lessons from her in both areas!


So, all in all--things are fantastic here in the DeLo household. Matt and I sit around and just talk about how far we have come and try to imagine how crazy our house is soon to get when MM gets here! We also talk about the past--and know that we have to look back to realize even more how very blessed we are with our MM, family, friends, our angel in heaven (and butterfly on earth)--Lawton, and those we may never get to meet!

Peace and love to you all--
Dana, Matt and MM

p.s. Aunt Julie has renamed me "M.o.m.m.y." and I love it! It stands for "Mother of Miracle Miller...Yippee!" Thank you Julie--it is truly a special name and will be one that I "wear" proudly! :)

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Looking back...

Today is Tuesday--October 16th. We went to the doctors last Thursday and it was our best appointment by far! Both Dr. U and Dr. B were very pleased that we were in Week 29 and counting. We even discussed our next options which included one more round of steroid shots when we hit week 32, when they would be removing the cerclage and when Miller may come into this world! All of this has made my head spin, my heart race and the rest of my body is experience chills. This is all good though it may not sound like it.


Don't get me wrong, I am more than excited that Miller is on his way---but at the same time, I am sad and torn from the past when I look back. I remember when I was in the hospital that a good friend told me that I will be having these emotions the closer to the birth of Miller. I have found that going forward is proving to be just as hard as it is looking back.


I know that we are not supposed to live in the past but rather learn from it and move on. Why does it feel like moving on alienates my other son, Lawton? Don't get me wrong--but I know that we have overcome so many obstacles and have been witness to so many miracles throughout this whole situation--but it just hurts that I won't get to hold both of my sons in the end! I realized that I just need to pray hard to find peace and comfort in knowing that this has all been God's plan. I have been at that peaceful place before---and I can find it again.

So, tomorrow--12 weeks ago--seems like an eternity and/or a whole different life. But, we have made so much great progress that it still seems to baffle me. Week 30!! We are in week 30! We have definitely won our Championship game but there is still a few more minutes left of the clock--so we will need to just keep racking up the points.

Maybe I feel like a bad sportsman because I am wanting to ramp up the score--but about 11 weeks and 5 days ago--Matt and I decided that we were in this to "win it" and give Miller the best life possible as his brother would have wanted it to be! We are definitely going to do it--though for some reason these next few weeks (7 weeks) seems like they are going to be the hardest. I have to keep telling myself that we have made it this far-so what is another 7 more weeks?? (However, tell yourself that while still trying to be a good patient and stay on bedrest.) So much to do in the next 7 weeks before he gets here.....need to get organized! Do you realize how much 1 baby requires---lots of clothes, burp clothes, diapers, etc... It is mind boggling!

However, through all of this mind boggling things and while looking back---Matt and I continue to realize that we are blessed to be in this situation and have one very special baby soon-to-be with us on earth and another special angel who is already in Heaven! He has been the greatest inspiration and cheerleader to Matt, Miller and myself! Go Team MM!

Wow--week 30 AND 2 days already! God's amazing work!

Peace and Love to you all--
Dana, Matt and MM

Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Day Before...

Yes, today is Sunday, September 30th, and it is the day before the first day of Week 28!! Why is tomorrow so special? Well, because almost 10 weeks ago, we never thought we would get to be in the place that we are today which is the actual chance to have at least one of our babies! So, tomorrow, October 1st, marks Week 28---one of the biggest goals--if not THE biggest goals that we needed to accomplish! Tomorrow marks the day that we have "won" the game--but will still have plenty of time on the clock to keep adding points to our score!

Ok, let us take you back to a few appointments to catch you up. We went to the doctor during Week 26--Thursday, September 20th. We were expecting a perfect appointment like our others, but we got a little discouraging news. Miller's fluids had dropped down significantly enough to cause concern. However, there was nothing that we could do. He had to do it all on his own. Well, he must have felt his mommy worry--because between Dr. Berry and Dr. Uribe's office--he went from a 4 to an 8 to a 15 in his fluid level. Dr. Uribe and Julie said that when they do sonograms, it is just a quick snap shot and a times, they may reflect the lower levels.

Well, we had to go back in to see Dr. Berry last week to double check on our little guy and make sure all things were ok with him. In the meantime, between Week 26 and Week 27---Miller decided that he wanted to see his Aunt Julie--thus gave us another minor scare. Sweet Julie came and picked me up on Saturday to take me to the doctor's office and make sure all things were fine, and of course, they were!

Next, we had to go back this past Thursday to double check Miller's levels again. It was a quick appointment because all things were fine and his fluids were at a 14. (Normal range is 8 to 24) So back to normal---and also learned that we get to take another round of steroid shots on Monday and Tuesday---then again when we make it to week 32. These shots do inflict more pain than most--but to get to week 28 is a miracle and all miracles seem to come after experiencing some type of pain.

So, that brings you up to now.....all is good. No, all is great for the Delo household. Tomorrow is the offical day that we "win the game" but we still need to keep playing the "big game" until there is no more time on the clock. We just want to add more points to insure that the game is won by the biggest margin possible to give Miller the best chance possible to live a full and happy life!

Though Dana is getting tired of being on bedrest, we know we only have 8 weeks more to go before we get to hold our Miracle Miller. In the scheme of things--8 weeks will be easier than the last 10. We are just so blessed to get where we are--thus it makes it that much easier too!

As always--thank you for your continued support and prayers! We could have never gotten this far without each and everyone of you--our friends, family and our new found friends we may never get a chance to meet.

Peace and Love to all!
Dana, Matt and Miracle Miller

Sunday, September 16, 2007

The Kindness of Strangers

Week 25 and 6 days---and still going strong thanks to the kindess of strangers. We keep looking towards our next goal of 28 weeks and it seems so far away from today. However, when you look back--7 weeks ago seems like an eternity and we were just praying to get where we currently are. We are truly blessed.

When we look back, we see so many acts of kindess from family, friends and from those we have never met. It is the kindess of strangers that is truly amazing gifts from God. Some of these strangers have come into our lives just at the "right time." We know that we have new friends that have already taught us how to be more loving and selfless just as they are.

Though they truly weren't the complete definition of "strangers", our friends, the People's have become just that---good friends that we will have in our lives for as long as they can stand us. They have shown us that miracles do happen as we have learned with their little boy---Miller. (Yes--their little boy was born at 27 weeks and I believe that he went home right before we lost Lawton.) Soon after they learned of our situation--both Danny and Stephanie contacted us to let us know that they were praying for us. Their heartfelt kindness and compassion, as well as their empathy has helped us especially since they had just experienced the stress of what we were facing.

Well, we are happy to report that their Miller is now 11 pounds big and still growing like a champ! We are now thinking that strength, courage and hope must be the "definition" of the name Miller--because we have a great role model in Miller Lee Peoples. We look forward to introducing the boys to each other one day soon (not too soon b/c Miller DeLo still has lots of growing to do.)

As for a true "stranger", by definition, that has reached out to us recently was a girl that has experienced the exact same situation as we are experiencing. Her name is Carol and we will just keep it at that to respect her privacy. Our paths crossed when a friend of ours, Christy, told us about her friend Jessica's sister-in-law who had the same "story" as ours--or so she thought. Christy sent us the link to Carol's blog--and I read it---and sure enough, it was as if we had found a needle in the haystack--her situation was identical to ours with the exception that she was expecting twin girls. Another needle in the haystack--she was 1 of the other 2 women in which Dr.Berry had performed the emergent cerclage on. (I am #3.) I am happy to report that she had her daughter Sophia during week 31 1/2 and Miss Sophia only had to spend 3 1/2 weeks in the hospital. This week, sweet Carol brought her daughter over to our house to meet us. It was an amazing experience to hold little Sophia and feel the renewed hope/strength that bed rest can sap out of you at times. This little girl (and her sweet mom) did so much for our spirits in their short visit. Thank you so much to Carol and Sophia! Today, she is 12 weeks old and weighs a little over 8 pounds. A true miracle!

Other moments of enlightenment and truth came in the from another "stranger" who is Randy from Promiseland Church. I remember Susie, my sister-in-law, telling me that Robin (Susie's sister) was going to send her pastor to come by and see me. Robin had told him about our situation and he wanted to see what he could do to help.

Randy did come by the hospital on the first day and I talked with him briefly. I honestly don’t know what I told him and I can’t tell you what he told me verbatim—but I can tell you that he came at a time when I was at the lowest place I had ever been before in my life. I kept praying to God to ask him for some comfort---and then God sent me Randy who had the most compassionate presence about him. I remember feeling so loved and cared for by someone I had never met before. I remember that he was a beacon of light in a very dark time of my life. I felt comforted that he came by to see me and that he offered his prayers for my babies and me.

I vaguely recall that he did come by again on the day that Lawton was taken from me physically and the same day that God gave Miller the courage and strength to continue the fight. I didn’t see Randy that day because it was too soon after my surgery and I was rather incoherent. However, Randy did speak with my family and said that he was going to continue to keep us in his prayers. Soon after Randy had been there “that day” and after it had registered in my mind that he had been there, I realized that he had shown me the comfort and strength of God’s love through his prayers. I was overwhelmed with this incredible calming feeling in a very volatile situation. I attribute this to many factors but the one underlying factor that has most moved me is the power of prayer—especially from strangers and my new-found friend, Randy.

Soon after my family had met Randy….Susie, my brother and his family went to Promiseland. As they were sitting there, they heard our name being included in the prayer list for that day. My brother quickly called me after church and told me about this. Matt and I were so touched that we were being included in the congregation’s prayers.

Each day since then, we keep hearing about more people praying for us—people we have never met—people who had heard about our need for prayer through their family, friends and the internet. We have been mentioned in several churches on Sundays--which is a true comfort to us. It is amazing to see God’s love in all aspects of life! It is truly one of many miracles we have seen. It is incredible to know that God always loves us and is always with us no matter what we may be facing in life. It is amazing to see the kindess of strangers.

Tomorrow starts Week 26 and we will have our doctors' appointments on Thursday-September 20th. We know that we are going to get some great news about how big Miller is growing! We can't believe that in a few short weeks--10 or a little less--that we are going to hold our Miracle in our arms! All of the prayers of ours, our family, our friends and our new friends who were once "strangers" are going to come true! We are truly, truly blessed in so many ways!

Peace and love to you all!
Dana, Matt and MM

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Team Miracle Miller vs. the Other Guys

Currently, it is the end of the 3rd quarter and Team MM has finally pulled ahead and looking to post a win with only 1 more quarter to go. As of Tuesday when we went to the doctors' offices, we were at 24 weeks and 1 day. Dr. Berry and Dr. Uribe were very pleased with what they saw! Here are a few stats:
  • Miller weighs approximately 1 pound and 7 ounces
  • He is the size of a small loaf of bread from head to butt
  • His fluid levels (the amniotic fluids) were 18.4 and the doctors want it be between 6 and 24.
  • Once again, we heard--looks like a normal, singleton pregnancy. (ain't nothing normal about this pregnancy.)
  • His heartbeat ranged from 155-161
  • He still likes to get his picture taken and always starts with a "flash" of his privates to the camera first. (pretty funny)

So, after the initial appointment with Dr. Berry--it was suggested that we go on a steroid plan which involves 2 intramuscular shots. After we had taken (read: me/Dana) so many fertility shots to even get pregnant and to be where we are today---we thought it would be fairly easy to take. Matt was trying to convince the nurse to let him give it to me! (Thanks honey--but no thanks!) This shot was quite different because it was HUGE, burned like no other thing I have experienced (so far), and it lasted forever. I guess it seemed like it lasted forever because Matt was doing a "play by play" for me--such as "the needle is huge...is that a 18 gauge needle? and ok, honey--we are almost 1/2 done. It was funny though at the end of the first shot yesterday..and I had to go back in today for the second round. My poor brother had to take me today so I made him come in and let me squeeze his hand while I was getting the shot. I promised to not squeeze his hand so hard as to ruin his golf game. :)

As a refresher for you--these steroid shots will help Miller develop his lungs and membranes in his brain quicker. It will put him ahead by 2 weeks! This is huge for a premie if he decides to come before 36 weeks. So our next goal is to get the little guy to week 28--where his chances of survival without any major complications goes up by 50%! So, once we hit week 28, that will be the middle of the 4th quarter--and Team Miracle Miller will be winning the game without doubt. If we make it to week 34, then we are pounding our opponents--and by week 36, it will be a slaughter of a game with Team Miracle Miller beating the odds/competition decisively and by a HUGE margin! :)

During this whole experience/football game, we have experienced ups/downs, good/bad, positive/negative, sadness/rejoice, and every other emotion that can be felt. I surely thought we had felt them all by now--but after seeing the doctors yesterday--I was feeling that they just told me that I was pregnant for the first time again. I felt a true sense of "inspiration" and "hope" again! It was an incredible feeling but as strange as it sounds--I also found myself with a rather high anxiety level knowing that our child will be here soon. Anxiety because I find myself questioning if I am going to be a good mom (no doubt that Matt will be a GREAT dad), what do I do when he cries, how do I change a diaper properly and everything else that a first time mom questions prior to giving birth. Not too many get to experience the wonderful feelings that you get when you hear that after you have tried for so long to get pregnant--that you actually are--then to have that same great "you are truly pregnant" feelings re-occur again, it is truly a miracle. (Hard to explain this to men--but I am sure the women understand it).

We have been blessed with so many things throughout our pregnancy: getting pregnant (finally), blessed with twins, Baby Lawton becoming our angel in Heaven, MM being tough enough to fight it out to week 24 (and beyond), feeling truly pregnant again and realizing that our goal is within our reach.

Though the game is not over yet, the players are all healthy, tough and playing their little hearts out, the family and friends are cheering/praying for us so loudly that we are constantly inspired and strengthened more to win this game!

Peace and Love to all--

Dana, Matt and Miracle Miller

Monday, September 3, 2007

Happy "Non-Labor" Day

Today is Monday, September 3rd. Matt and I have decided to rename this holiday as "non-Labor" Day in honor of our little Miracle Miller! Today is also week 24---one of our many goals to hit...and we are all so happy to be here, though it was not without a few uneasy moments.

Sunday proved to be a more difficult day than others--mainly because I was having a few contractions more so than I had been having in the past. Well, Dr. Delorenzo (Matt) figured out that I had not been drinking enough water--thus this tends to increase the contractions. I guess this is Miller's way of telling me that he is very thirsty and to drink more. He obviously is working up a sweat by all of the moving and kicking he has been doing. (It is the greatest feeling I have ever experienced too) By the end of the day, I was doing great!

So, with this said...Happy "Non-Labor" Day to everyone! We hope that you get a chance to spend it with the people you love! We will be adding another blog update tomorrow because we get to go see Dr.Berry and Dr. Uribe--(my 2nd time out of the house since I have been home.) We know that they will be pleased with our progress!

Peace and love to you all!
Dana, Matt and MM